IGNORE IT
"It's their life. It's not my problem."
Love does not mean pretending destructive choices do not matter. Sometimes caring about someone means being willing to have a difficult conversation.
LOVE DOESN'T LOOK AWAY
How Should Christians Handle Sin?
LEARN FOLLOWING JESUS TOGETHER
How Should Christians Handle Sin?
When a brother or sister is caught in sin, Jesus does not call us to ignore it, gossip about it, or shame them. He calls us to move toward one another with truth, humility, and a desire for restoration.
"If someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently." Galatians 6:1
The goal isn't to catch people. The goal is to help restore people.
WHAT IS IT?
What Does It Mean to Handle Sin Biblically?
Following Jesus means we take sin seriously-but we also take grace, humility, and restoration seriously.
When we see sin in another Christian's life, our first instinct can go in one of two unhealthy directions. We may say, "That's none of my business," and ignore it. Or we may feel responsible to expose, correct, or control the person.
Scripture gives us a better way.
EXPOSE IT
"Someone needs to know what they're doing."
Gossip, public embarrassment, assumptions, and unnecessary exposure are not biblical restoration. Truth matters-but so does how we handle it.
TRUTH DOESN'T NEED HUMILIATION
RESTORE THEM
"How can I help you come back?"
Biblical correction moves toward a brother or sister with humility, truth, gentleness, and a genuine desire to help them walk faithfully with Jesus.
THIS IS THE BIBLICAL GOAL
GALATIANS 6:1
"Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted."
REAL LIFE
What might this actually look like?
Imagine a Christian friend tells you privately:
"I've gotten myself into something I know isn't right. I've tried to stop, but I'm struggling."
That confession is not an invitation to spread the information, shame the person, or immediately treat them as rebellious.
It is an opportunity to listen, pray, speak truth, help them take meaningful steps toward repentance, and-when appropriate-walk alongside them with accountability.
BOTTOM LINE
We don't confront sin because we think we're better than someone. We move toward one another because we belong to one another.
BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING
Start With Yourself.
Seeing someone else's sin does not automatically make us ready to address it. Jesus tells us to examine our own hearts first.
That does not mean Christians should never confront sin. It means we should never approach someone as though their sin makes us better than them.
BEFORE I ASK
"What's wrong with them?"
I SHOULD ASK"What's happening in me?"
JESUS SAID
Look in the mirror first.
MATTHEW 7:3-5
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ... first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."
Jesus is not saying the speck should stay there. He is teaching us how to see clearly enough to help.
IMPORTANT
"Don't judge" doesn't mean "never address sin."
Matthew 7 is sometimes reduced to two words: "Don't judge." But Jesus continues the conversation.
His warning is against hypocritical, self-righteous judgment. After dealing with the plank in our own eye, Jesus says we can see clearly enough to help remove the speck from our brother's eye.
The question is not simply, "Should I ever say something?" The question is, "What kind of heart am I bringing into the conversation?"
HEART CHECK
Before you approach someone, ask yourself:
01
Have I examined myself?
Am I ignoring something in my own life while focusing on theirs?
02
Do I know what actually happened?
Am I responding to firsthand knowledge-or assumptions, rumors, or somebody else's version of the story?
03
Why do I want to say something?
Do I want restoration, or do I want to prove that I'm right?
04
Am I willing to be gentle?
Can I speak truth without humiliating, attacking, or talking down to the person?
GALATIANS 6:1
"If someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted."
RESTORE The goal
GENTLY The posture
WATCH YOURSELF The warning
REAL LIFE
Suppose you hear something about another member.
Someone tells you that a brother or sister is doing something sinful.
Your first responsibility is not necessarily to confront the person-or to tell somebody else.
ASK FIRST "Do I actually know this is true?"
There is a difference between knowing something firsthand and hearing a story about someone. Passing along an accusation can turn concern about sin into gossip very quickly.
Sometimes the wisest and most loving response is simply to refuse to participate in speculation.
BOTTOM LINE
Biblical correction begins with humility: I am not a righteous person fixing a sinful person. I am a disciple helping another disciple follow Jesus.
BEFORE YOU CALL IT SIN
But Is It Actually Sin?
Not everything we disagree about is sin.
Christians can have strong opinions about parenting, entertainment, clothing, holidays, politics, alcohol, schooling, dating, worship preferences, and countless other parts of everyday life.
Some of those decisions require serious biblical wisdom. But we should be careful not to turn our personal convictions into commands God never gave.
A SIMPLE QUESTION
What has Scripture actually said?
01
SCRIPTURE HAS CLEARLY SPOKEN
Sin
When Scripture clearly identifies something as sinful, Christians do not have the authority to redefine it simply because culture, circumstances, or personal feelings have changed.
Examples
Lying • Sexual immorality • Stealing • Drunkenness • Hatred • Gossip • Greed
RESPONSE Repentance & Restoration
02
SCRIPTURE GIVES PRINCIPLES
Wisdom
Sometimes Scripture gives clear principles without prescribing the exact decision every Christian must make. In those situations, faithful disciples may apply biblical wisdom differently.
Examples
Entertainment • Dating boundaries • Technology • Spending choices • Parenting decisions
RESPONSE Wisdom & Discernment
03
SCRIPTURE GIVES FREEDOM
Conviction
In some matters, God has allowed room for Christians to reach different conclusions while remaining faithful to Jesus. My conscience matters-but so does yours.
Examples
Certain foods • Special days • Traditions • Personal practices • Matters of conscience
RESPONSE Freedom & Grace
ROMANS 14
Christians can disagree without declaring each other sinful.
In Romans 14, believers disagreed about food and the observance of certain days. Paul did not tell one side to force its conviction onto the other.
"Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall." Romans 14:4
The principle matters: when Jesus has given freedom, we should be very careful about creating rules for one another that Jesus did not create.
REAL LIFE
Same church. Different convictions.
FAMILY A
"We don't participate in Halloween."
≠
FAMILY B
"Our kids dress up and collect candy."
Different conviction does not automatically mean sin.
The question is not, "Would I do that?" The better question is, "Has Jesus or Scripture clearly spoken?"
BE CAREFUL
There are two mistakes we can make.
01
Turning sin into a personal conviction.
"That's just your interpretation" cannot become a way of dismissing something Scripture clearly calls us to surrender.
02
Turning our personal conviction into everybody else's sin.
Our preferences, traditions, experiences, and conscience should never be given the same authority as the Word of God.
KEEP LEARNING
Want to go deeper on convictions and biblical authority?
These Learn resources explore how Christians distinguish biblical commands, wisdom, and personal convictions while keeping Jesus at the center.
BOTTOM LINE
Before confronting someone about sin, make sure you're confronting something God has actually called sin-not simply something you would choose differently.
WHEN SIN NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED
Go to the Person.
When a brother or sister sins against you, Jesus gives us a remarkably simple first step: talk to them.
Not your closest friend. Not the group chat. Not half the church. And usually, not church leadership first.
Jesus teaches us to begin personally and privately, giving the other person an opportunity to listen, respond, and make things right.
JESUS SAID
Start privately.
MATTHEW 18:15
"If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over."
Notice where Jesus begins: "between the two of you."
The first goal is not exposure. It is reconciliation. Jesus describes success as winning your brother or sister back.
THE HEALTHY PATH
When something happens between Christians...
01
THEM
Something happens between you and another Christian.
02
OTHERS
The temptation is to talk to everybody except the person.
JESUS' WAY
GO TO THEM
Speak personally, privately, honestly, and with a desire to restore the relationship.
REAL LIFE
Someone in church says something hurtful about you.
You find out that another member said something about you that was hurtful, dishonest, or inappropriate.
You are frustrated. Maybe angry. And you want to know why they would say something like that.
DON'T START HERE
"Did you hear what they said about me?"
Calling several friends may feel like processing the situation, but it can quickly become gossip and create sides before the other person has even been approached.START HERE
"Hey, can we talk? I heard something that concerned me, and I wanted to come directly to you."
Ask questions. Listen. Clarify what happened. Speak honestly. Give the person an opportunity to respond.DON'T MISS THIS
Going to someone doesn't mean you've already decided they're guilty.
Sometimes what we heard was incomplete.
Sometimes we misunderstood what happened.
Sometimes there is another side to the story.
And sometimes the person really did sin.
Biblical confrontation should begin as a conversation, not a prosecution.
WHAT IF THEY LISTEN?
Then don't keep escalating.
Imagine the person responds:
"You're right. What I did was wrong. I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?"
That's not the moment to gather more people, build a case, or make sure everybody knows what happened.
Jesus says: "you have won them over."
When there is genuine repentance, the goal becomes forgiveness, restoration, and-when needed-healthy accountability going forward.
A WORD OF WISDOM
Does this mean you should never involve church leadership?
No. There are situations where asking a mature Christian, ministry leader, shepherd, elder, or evangelist for help is wise.
But there is an important difference between seeking help to handle something biblically and simply spreading the story.
ASK YOURSELF "Am I involving this person because they can help bring restoration-or because I want someone on my side?"
IMPORTANT - SAFETY COMES FIRST
Some situations should not be handled as an ordinary private conflict.
Abuse, threats, violence, suspected child abuse or neglect, criminal behavior, or situations involving immediate danger require protecting people first and may require contacting appropriate authorities.
Do not use "go to them privately first" as a rule that requires someone to confront an abuser, remain in danger, or keep serious wrongdoing secret.
Biblical reconciliation should never be used as a reason to keep someone unsafe, conceal abuse, or prevent appropriate reporting. When safety or abuse is involved, seek appropriate help immediately.
BOTTOM LINE
When possible, don't talk about someone when you should be talking to them.
WHAT IF NOTHING CHANGES?
What If They Won't Listen?
Sometimes a private conversation brings repentance and reconciliation. Sometimes it doesn't.
Jesus does not tell us to give up immediately-and He does not tell us to immediately expose the person publicly.
Instead, He teaches us to carefully widen the circle of people involved.
JESUS CONTINUES
Bring help.
MATTHEW 18:16-17
"But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses."
If the person refuses to listen, Jesus introduces another step: bring one or two others.
These people are not supposed to become your team against the other person. Their presence can bring wisdom, clarity, accountability, and another opportunity for restoration.
THE PATTERN JESUS GIVES
The circle widens only when necessary.
STEP 1
● ● ●
GO PRIVATELY
Speak directly with the person. Listen. Clarify. Tell the truth. Seek reconciliation.
GOAL Restore the relationship
STEP 2
● ● ●
BRING ONE OR TWO
If the person will not listen, involve a small number of mature believers who can help establish what happened and encourage repentance.
GOAL Bring wisdom and restoration
STEP 3
● ● ●
INVOLVE THE CHURCH
If someone persistently refuses to listen, the matter can eventually require broader involvement from the church.
GOAL Still restoration
1 → 2 → MORE
NOTICE THE MOVEMENT
Escalation isn't punishment getting bigger.
It's the circle of people trying to help getting wider.
WHO SHOULD YOU BRING?
Not just someone who agrees with you.
Bringing "one or two others" is not permission to recruit people to your side.
Ideally, they should be spiritually mature people who can listen carefully, help establish the truth, speak honestly to everyone involved, and keep the goal focused on restoration.
01 Mature They care about truth more than taking sides.
02 Fair They are willing to listen to everyone involved.
03 Discreet They won't turn the situation into gossip.
04 Restorative They want repentance, healing, and reconciliation.
REAL LIFE
What if the person simply says, "I don't care"?
Imagine a Christian is confronted about a clear pattern of dishonesty.
The conversation is private. The concern is explained clearly. Scripture is not being used to argue about a preference. The dishonesty is real.
THE RESPONSE
"I know what I'm doing. I'm not changing. It's nobody else's business."
At that point, the issue is no longer simply that the person sinned. All Christians sin.
The deeper concern is that a disciple of Jesus is being confronted with sin and is refusing to turn from it.
AN IMPORTANT DIFFERENCE
Struggling with sin is not the same as refusing to repent.
STRUGGLING
"I know this is wrong. I hate that I keep falling into it. I need help."
This person needs truth, grace, prayer, accountability, encouragement, and help learning to walk faithfully with Jesus.
MOVE TOWARD THEM.REFUSING
"I know what Scripture says. I'm going to keep doing it, and nobody has the right to challenge me."
This is different. Persistent, deliberate refusal to repent may eventually require broader involvement from the church.
DON'T PRETEND NOTHING IS WRONG.DON'T RUSH THE PROCESS
Matthew 18 is not a race to Step 3.
If the situation can be resolved privately, let it be resolved privately.
If bringing one or two mature Christians helps bring repentance, there is no reason to make the matter larger.
Broader involvement becomes necessary when someone persistently refuses loving, biblical attempts to help them turn back.
The smallest circle necessary for restoration is usually the healthiest circle.
GOING DEEPER
What does "tell it to the church" actually mean?
That's where the conversation moves into what is commonly called church discipline-a serious subject that deserves more explanation than a few paragraphs here.
Church discipline is not supposed to be revenge, public humiliation, or a way for leaders to control people. Biblically, even the most serious steps are meant to call someone back to repentance and faithful fellowship with Jesus.
COMING IN LEARN What Is Church Discipline?
Matthew 18, 1 Corinthians 5, restoration, repentance, leadership, and what happens when someone returns.
BOTTOM LINE
When someone won't listen, don't widen the circle to increase pressure or shame. Widen it to increase the opportunity for truth, wisdom, and restoration.
WHEN SOMEONE TURNS BACK
What Happens When Someone Repents?
When someone acknowledges their sin and turns back toward Jesus, our response should change too.
The goal was never to win an argument, expose somebody, or make them pay.
The goal was restoration. So when repentance happens, Christians should be ready to move toward forgiveness, encouragement, healing, and a faithful path forward.
JESUS SAID
Repentance should be met with forgiveness.
LUKE 17:3
"If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them."
Notice both sides of Jesus' instruction.
Sin is not ignored. But repentance is not ignored either.
Christians should be willing to tell the truth about sin and willing to extend forgiveness when someone turns back.
WHEN REPENTANCE HAPPENS
The direction of the conversation changes.
01
CONFESSION
"What I did was wrong."
No excuses. No blaming. No pretending it wasn't sin.02
REPENTANCE
"I want to turn from this."
Repentance is more than feeling bad. It involves a change of heart and direction.03
RESTORATION
"Let's walk forward together."
Grace helps someone move toward faithfulness rather than permanently defining them by their failure.REAL LIFE
A Christian confesses a hidden struggle.
Imagine a brother comes to another Christian and says:
"I've been looking at pornography. I know it's wrong. I've been hiding it, and I don't want to keep living like this. I need help."
That confession should be taken seriously. But it should not be treated as an invitation to shame him, spread the information, or permanently label him by his sin.
A healthy response may include prayer, honest conversation, removing access to temptation, appropriate accountability, and regular follow-up.
Someone asking for help fighting sin needs people willing to help them fight-not people waiting to use their confession against them.
AN IMPORTANT DISTINCTION
Forgiveness doesn't mean pretending nothing happened.
Repentance changes the relationship, but some situations still require time, wisdom, and healing.
FORGIVENESS
Release the debt.
We do not continue using someone's forgiven sin as a weapon against them.
TRUST
May need rebuilding.
Forgiveness can be offered while trust is gradually restored through honesty, faithfulness, and changed behavior.
CONSEQUENCES
May still remain.
Repentance does not automatically erase every relational, legal, financial, or leadership consequence of what happened.
FORGIVENESS ≠ INSTANT TRUST
GRACE ≠ NO CONSEQUENCES
RESTORATION ≠ PRETENDING
A BEAUTIFUL PICTURE
There comes a time to reaffirm love.
2 CORINTHIANS 2:6-8
Paul describes a situation in Corinth where discipline had already occurred. His concern then shifts toward what should happen next.
"Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him... I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him."
Whatever the exact circumstances behind Paul's words, the principle is powerful: correction is not supposed to become permanent rejection.
When repentance is real, God's people should know how to forgive, comfort, and reaffirm love.
WHAT RESTORATION CAN LOOK LIKE
Don't just say, "Good luck." Walk with them.
01 Pray
Bring the struggle honestly before God together.
02 Make a plan
Identify practical changes that support genuine repentance.
03 Stay connected
Accountability works best through relationship, not surveillance.
04 Encourage progress
Don't make someone's worst moment their permanent identity.
THIS IS THE GOSPEL
Why can Christians take sin seriously without giving up on sinners?
Because that's what Jesus has done for us.
Sin is serious because Jesus takes sin seriously.
Grace is powerful because Jesus took our sin upon Himself.
We don't restore people because sin doesn't matter. We restore people because Jesus came to save sinners and make us new.
KEEP LEARNING
LEARN What Is a Disciple? Explore what it means to follow Jesus →Restoration is part of learning to follow Jesus together.
Christianity is more than believing certain truths. Jesus calls us into a life of discipleship-learning to follow Him and helping one another do the same.
BOTTOM LINE
When someone turns back to Jesus, don't keep holding them at the place where they fell. Help them take the next faithful step forward.
WHEN SIN ENTERS THE PICTURE
Remember the path.
Scripture gives us a relational way forward. The goal from beginning to end is restoration.
01
BEGIN WITH HUMILITY EXAMINE
YOURSELF Matthew 7:3-5
YOURSELF Matthew 7:3-5
02
OPEN SCRIPTURE IS IT
ACTUALLY SIN? Romans 14:1-4
ACTUALLY SIN? Romans 14:1-4
03
MOVE TOWARD THEM GO TO
THE PERSON Matthew 18:15
THE PERSON Matthew 18:15
04
KEEP THE GOAL CLEAR SEEK
RESTORATION Galatians 6:1
RESTORATION Galatians 6:1
05
WHEN NECESSARY BRING
HELP Matthew 18:16-17
HELP Matthew 18:16-17
06
WHEN THEY TURN BACK HELP THEM
FORWARD 2 Corinthians 2:7-8
FORWARD 2 Corinthians 2:7-8
THE DESTINATION
Not embarrassment. Not winning an argument. Not proving who was right.
RESTORATION.GO DEEPER
Keep learning.
Continue exploring what it means to follow Jesus together.
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STUDY WITH SOMEONE →Let's open the Bible together.
Whether you're exploring Christianity, wrestling with sin, trying to repair a relationship, or simply want to know what following Jesus looks like, we'd be glad to walk with you.
Posted in Learn
Posted in Following Jesus, Church Community, Repentance, Restoration, Christian Accountability, Sin, Biblical Relationships
Posted in Following Jesus, Church Community, Repentance, Restoration, Christian Accountability, Sin, Biblical Relationships
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